Sunday, July 25, 2010

sunday morning coming down

I have 6 songs in my digital music library with 'sunday' in their titles and 24 with 'god,' plus 5 with 'jesus' in them. Also 12 with 'soul,' 3 with 'brain,' 7 with 'money/cash,' and 9 with 'dog.' But st. valentine takes the cake in this song title battle, with 87 mentions for 'love' and 19 for 'heart.' As they say, "Cash Rules Everything Around Me," but "Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love" (they being Wu Tang Clan and Albert Einstein, respectively).

Thursday, plus wednesday evening, was passed most pleasantly in superior company. It is quite nice to reconnect with a community of Friends, most of whom I have not seen in several years. It has also been too long since I have done any kind of community service. I helped to cook and serve food at a Salvation Army dinner in Newburyport, sponsored by Mommy's Quaker Meeting. It was a kind of short order fast paced service that I have grown very comfortable with over the past two months at both of my jobs.

The food service business is one that I have grown accustomed to. I have worked almost every kind of job, except for fine dining service. Line cook, fry cook, prep cook, delivery driver, short order counter help, retirement home serving and bussing, much dishwashing along the way, catering, ice cream scooping, and customer service up to my ears! The only thing I am missing is the chance to grow the food that I cook and serve, something I hope to do soon. Dream job? Have a self-sufficient or mostly sufficient semi-urban homestead with attached private dining room/small restaurant/bike shop/education center....

Okay its not one job, but I am a man of many hats. I need something to do, I don't do very well with free time. I believe in the optimistic productive potential of my hands, and in turn they like to stay busy. Read a book, cook a meal, carve a spoon, wash dishes, sweep the floor, fix your bike, shower, write, love, bike!

terribly excited about wednesday, big plans are in the works.

Katrina is back from Prague! The glenville manor is once again complete, almost; we are only missing mr. O'Gara.

I have witnessed, on numerous occasions, my cat Artemis fishing pieces of food out of her water dish. I have also seen her, albeit fewer times, scooping food into her water bowl with one flat palm. Be it playful kitty games, an anthropomorphized artemis, or super intelligent cat behavior, I know at least that I have never seen this behavior with any of the (more than 10) cats I have lived with.

I am tired, or as one might say on the streets of the Rabat Medina, "ana mdig-adig." But don't let Farida hear you say that, especially not in front of Riham, because she doesn't like that phrase. I suspect it is some kind of slang, perhaps somewhat profane. Gosh, I should write to my Moroccan host family. I miss them a lot. What I miss the most is when I would take over the kitchen to do homework (on the house's sole table) after Farida and Riham went to bed. When Rachid came home from Best Wishes one of us would heat up some leftovers and set out the bread and beverages. Nothing like breaking bread with your Moroccan host father at 1030pm, talking about anything everything and nothing. What a sight I must have been, tapping away at my silver machine into the night (as I do now).

Will there be a new student to replace me come September? Likely, yes, but I like to think that I made some kind of lasting impression on the El Bounti family. They are probably waiting for a wedding invitation (Jill and I were engaged in their eyes, ha. why else would she fly thousands of miles to visit me for 2 weeks?) No, I am kidding. But hopefully they are waiting for a letter. Maybe they are used to foreigners coming and going, brief flashes of family invaded, stranger incorporated, routine developed, void created (or annoyance removed). But I could have been different, or at least it is comforting to think that. I know that I will fast fade from Riham's memory, but maybe the pictures I left will keep her reminded of my brief presence in her early life. Why is it so comforting to think about our posterity as something that endures, and being forgotten as something to fear? sometimes it is good to forget, and forgive. But I admit that I love the idea that people beyond my immediate circle will remember me after I am gone. Think about what kind of impression you make upon the world around you, and whether or not it is a lasting one. Not everyone will make a famous lasting impression in this world, but we can all take part in a daily effort to mold the impression we make into a positive one. What is the point of recycling one can or bottle...Why should I vote, I am only one person...why should I care??? you should care because the cumulative impact of our actions as a society and a species wields great power for good and evil. Together we all share a power that the governments cannot suppress, that the natural world can't hardly handle, and it is up to each individual to decide what to do with such awesome responsibility.

goodnight, good luck, and love.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

the end of the week

sunday night thoughts need to be recorded:

-ice cream is really tasty.

-I have trouble formulating into words all the things that I know in my head to be true.

-sometimes I have trouble going to bed because I feel like I need to do more in order to make the night 'productive' or worthy in some respect. But at the same time I know that sometimes the most productive thing I can do is go to bed.

-I worked for approximately 23 hours in a 48 hour span, between friday at 5:30pm until sunday at 5pm. next weekend is looking to be much of the same...

-Thursday is going to be spent with my dear Mommy

-in 10 days I will have spent 3 years with one person as my romantic companion.

-I have not read, watched, or listened to the news in almost a week. there is just no time

-'Chaz Vest' is a real person, as is 'Sean McCool'

-a nice lady gave me a coffee mug full of arnie today after I delivered her a pita.

-Living alone would be a good thing for me because I could keep everything exactly as I wanted to. Sometimes people fail to meet my expectations through no fault of their own. Sometimes I tell people what to do when it is not my place to do so, both at work and in everyday social situations. Call me bossy if you will, but sometimes I can't hold back my opinion.

-between thought and expression there lies a lifetime

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Just stop talkin' trash
or whatever they say
Just stop talking trash, or whatever they say
Vomv zee moose-ick Indus treeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Got a lot of shit in my head. you know we got to pull together cuz it’s not gonna stop till we’re dead.
You know we got to pull it together. No its not gonna stop, not gonna stop, never, ever, gonna stop.

Semi-permanent Temporary solutions to problems abound.
Sometimes they are the best and most welcome kinds of solutions though, because they provide immediate cool instant gratification. Like the ole ice pack to a head-ACHE.

Plans for bike.
I made a to do list of long term bike projects and ideas, dreamgasms, etc. A bell, squeaky dog toy, or whistle (perhaps attached to one of my gloves that I don’t use) for alerting aggressive and crazy people of all kinds in all vehicle types…mud flaps or fenders..front or back rack/basket (ideally front basket, perhaps removeable for shopping, plus back rack for strapping down town china town)…..fix some parts and tighten stuff…replace screw too who you have lost…?? Also handlebars right side could be rewrapped/patched.structural change of some kind for handlebar being contemplated in order to facilitate a more comfortable and powerful biking ability and stroke. I will make a drawing, and then I think one can bend a pole to any shape, being of course of the properest of widths, or certainly one can pay someone else to do that for them. Some custom handlebars would be cool! With black shiny leather grips/wrap mm so sweet and tasty.

Btmi the show was tonight [Sunday night] and it was absolutely fabulous! We boogied with the punks hipsters show rats old friends brothers and sisters from all around, from precisely 11pm until approximately 12:10 am (is that a real time?). the setlist was almost everything that I wanted, certainly everything I needed to hear besides the major omission of Future 86. Allan chauffeureddd me over to central square, we scoped out the place, I realized I forgot my money for the show (though remembered 5 for a beer, of course)

I was disappointed, especially because I make a good amount of cash tips these days. But the tips tend to disappear even as I spend a small amount of money on essential items, mostly all I buy is food these days. And gas, some times. I brought Hugh’s truck back home practically on E….and that was after Jill and I had contemplated whether or not I should buy him gas. I also need to pay Allan for my ticket, for he was a good dear Brother and covered me. It was cash only, 10, first ever all ages night show at Middle East Upstairs I do believe.

It was a great night overall…I saw two people from Camp Rotary, two random old friendly faces, both looking very different from how I rememberpicture them. Jon Gingham (not real name), who I remember from several years ago (when he was a more experienced senior boy camper and I a lowly CIT or greenhorn junior counselor) as a thoughtful, very intelligent, camp kid who truly loved and loves the place to this day (says the guy who rocks rotary meshorts almost everyday, and was that night) and who was not well liked or respected by all of the other kids and maybe not well liked by all of the staff either. Generally not everyone gets along with everyone else, especially not when one is crammed into a camp for a week or more with same-ish people for the hole summer. It is like being in a ball pit or a science experiment bouncing atom ray guns off the walls, endlessly ricocheting off of the same select group of particles you are a member of. Each indivifual ball is its own size, shape, color, etc. like people. And you get these things bouncing around, you throw in some super fun singing and traditions and games and sugary foods, a few field trips, ipods a nd game boys, some priviledged kids etc, you get the point. It’s a strange brew, and I call it Camp Rotary. the point is that not everyone gets along, but almost everybody respects everyone else. At least they are supposed to. its a place where someone can truly be their own individual self.

“Oh hey hey look that guy with the green hair is a punk rocker, he’s even telling everybody. Fuckin’ hippie…”

"Xaviers mom was a real hippie. You can tell a real hippie because they always tell the truth."

Camp is great, for a lot of reasons, and that was a long and overwrought metaphor about it/for it. Its not conformity it looks like infirmity, why should anyone believe in a community? Got a lot of shit in my head….a lot. I write in about 4-6 locations, sometimes several a day, notebooks and computer notes, etc. Sometimes I feel my brain is frazzled and running too fast a mile a linute a peanut and I end up overthinking stuff. I have come to realize I always want to be a writer in some capacity, and that I am a more detailed person than I thought. Very meticulouse when I need to be. I am the guy whose manager tells him to sweep less thoroughly.

I love seeing to everything. The details are everything in life. I love setting up something, from the plan to the execution just do everything myself, delegating tasks if I need to, helping everyone move to a better place if possible. I thing I could be a good caterer. Does you guys ever contemplate a job and think about how good you might in such a position. Like Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm (creator of Seinfeld's newer show, starring himself), who thought he would be a great car salesman until he failed the second day of his tryouts of sorts.

Buy some flowers for the women in your life every now and then, and I am speaking to everyone here.

Don’t allow basement apartments on a street where the storm drain capacity sucks. Good thing we are on the first floor and all my windows were closed during the weekend’s monsoon. Others nearby were not so lucky. No danger of bodily harm, just shitty property damage that is being gradually cleaned up.

Listen to more bomb the music industry! albums start to finish. Ride and love Maeve and clean her check her top to bottom…You all should go to the google sitesearch type btmi discography free download...They post all their albums on the website for free so you are encouraged to spread their music, love their music, pass it along on a flash drive during classs maybe….very shareable heartfelt merlinodic DIY punk rock emo ska horns band music genre defense word quack.

and heres my little rant about "the system," something that you frequently hear in BtMI!'s music:

New York City or Tokyo would vastly shrink in size very soon if all the trucks and planes stopped bringing in everything they need to survive. because all/most people there and elsewhere in the world live on imported resources and food their actual impact in terms of the physical footprint of the resources, land, water, what is consumed by what they consume and on down the line, etc.

there is also a much smaller percentage of people who are producing food than before 1950, for example. (there is an even smaller number who are doing it well, Nature's Harmony Farm (google them!) and my Mother being prime examples of my definition of 'well'). furthermore, the advances that allowed us to concentrate that many people in cities, with so few on farms, are the same ones that are slowly steadily depleting our resources, land and water, souls, etc. these advances in agricultural productivity, factory farming, hybrid and GM breeds/seeds, etc. are what we have come to rely on in our current system, and they are what allows a place like McDonald's to consistently serve up your quarter pounder (same patty, wonder bread bun, cardboard tomatoes, "lettuce," y'all know the drill) at 3am, or a place like Pita Pit (where I work) where every chicken breast (they arrive frozen, precooked) looks exactly the same!

that said, there are a lot of people growing food in places like NYC and Toyku, and there are a lot more that could be. there is always land to be found (rural, peri-urban, and urban) and always more work to do. A system requires energy to maintain itself, and it requires people to stick to a certain straight and narrow. but think about how people used to live in different ways, more connected and in tune with nature and where their food came from....they had their system and we have ours. I guess what I am getting at is that systems can always change, and sometimes they should! so lets hear it for those who have started to go about changing things, and those who will in the future. dont be afraid to push boundaries and stray from the beaten path, or to figure out where your food comes from. you might be surprised...